Be recklessly openhearted
with your invitations to
hit the gym, play ball
or go to yoga class.
The greater percentage
of your community of
friends (and their friends)
who are active, the
stronger the social
pressure for all of you to
stay in the game.
be inclusive
Reaping the fullest possible benefits
of your social network while avoiding its
pitfalls involves three key areas of skill:
First, learning how to recognize when
your own behavior is being negatively
shaped. Second, developing your ability
to deliberately make better choices under
pressure. And third, seizing opportunities to gently, patiently nudge your network in healthier directions. Here are
five ways to get started:
Acknowledge 1. Irrationality
If there were a golden rule of behavioral
science, this would be it: We make rational
choices less often than we think we do.
This isn’t a failing of character or
intelligence, but rather a function of effi-
ciency. Because each one of us is faced
with thousands of little decisions daily,
no one has time to rationally weigh each
and every one, so we fall back on our
automatic systems of patterned thinking,
habit and the rapid processing of subtle
social signals.
mitments become more vulnerable in
these situations.
You can retain maximum consciousness by going into unfamiliar environments with an already-laid-out plan.
Prior to a business lunch, research the
menu online and decide in advance what
you’ll order; or decide that you’ll always
order more or less the same thing (a
green salad and grilled fish, for example).
When traveling, scope out the location of the nearest gym or running track,
and pack snacks for the trip so you won’t
be tempted by airport food. If you’re
heading to a party, decide ahead of time
whether you’ll have one drink or two.
When you make and rehearse your
choices in calm conditions, they’ll be waiting in your cranial wings during uncertain moments, and you’ll be less likely to
resort to following others’ leads. ➺
